4 Secrets For Moms To Be More Confident


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Working from home often breaks our confidence. I mean… nothing quite hurts our self-esteem than hearing our loved ones asking what we did all day… when our average day entails kids pooping in the tub… missing the toilet… full rolls of toilet paper being tossed in already-peed-in toilets… being a short order cook at least 7 times a day… letting the dogs inside, just to let them back outside again so they can bark at the squirrel that just crossed passed the window… work in 20 min increments because kid craziness demands frequent breaks… not to mention plates shattering as the toddler “helps” unload the dishwasher while you’re taking your own bathroom break.

My biggest tricks for boosting confidence:

  1. Eating “high-vibe” foods that fuel your body
  2. Using essential oils to inspire confidence
  3. Increase your energy so you can accomplish more
  4. Re-evaluating your to-do list
  5. Focus on realistic expectations
  6. Set your future self up for success
  7. Relearn how to love yourself
  8. Edification
  9. Gain clarity in your mission
  10. Live with purpose
Being a stay at home mom can take a toll on your confidence level, especially if you're like most moms who second guess everything, feeling unaccomplished and "worthless." Work from home moms are no different. This article talks about How WAHMs Gain Confidence - Nikky Graber

1.) “High-Vibe” Foods That Fuel Your Body

The quality of our food may have an impact on how we feel, how well we think, and even how we talk to and feel about ourselves.

Good foods to fuel your body with: organic veggies, fruits, and ancient grains. Grass-fed meats and dairy products from grass-fed cows.

Good foods to stay away from… the typical health advice: sugar, conventional meats and dairy, prepackaged foods, anything sprayed with harsh chemicals.

When I started on this journey, changing our food habits were the most difficult part. I still am horrible at meal planning, largely because when I start cooking, my kids and husband decide they don’t feel like eating what I’m making. So we opted to modify the process some by creating weekly meal plans, and shifting which days we have what to help curb the “I don’t wanna” discussions.

Growing some of our own foods has been incredibly helpful too. Just going out to our backyard and having much of our produce and herb needs right there ready to be picked has reignited our love for fresh foods and cooking. Plus it helps a LOT with decreasing our food budget, grocery store trips, and waste. Plus it is especially helpful at teaching healthy eating habits when our kids go into the backyard to pick pea pods or green beans to eat for snacks.

Garden Tower Project

2.) Using Essential Oils To Inspire Confidence

One of my favorite life-hacks for almost everything related to life… is using essential oils. Those little amber bottles of liquid goodness have had so many profound effects on my family’s physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health that we always have them around.

Just please keep in mind… not all essential oils are created the same. There is a lot of shady stuff that goes on in the essential oil market, thanks to loose labeling laws and no regulatory laws (for both the product and education). Make sure you’re choosing a high quality brand who truly offers transparency through how their oils are created, and why they choose the processes they choose.

There is just something about blending together a little frankincense, blue tansy, geranium, and camphor oil that really does wonders for bringing out your best ideas, responses, and confidence… especially when you’re not needing to DIY (because… who needs added work when you’re barely able to keep up with your current needs). It helps you walk a little taller, stand a little straighter, and keep your cool… even when life throws curveballs and you’d rather spend the rest of the day in a pillow fort with a book.

3.) Increase Your Energy So You Can Accomplish More

Stress, little sleep, poor food habits, and the pressure of “not being good enough” is enough to drive your mind and body into adrenal fatigue or into autoimmune conditions like hypothyroidism. Having been through both and having helped numerous moms heal from both, I feel it’s not talked about enough.

No, you’re not broken. And no… feeling bogged down with a foggy brain and exhausted body isn’t “normal.”

While what you eat is important, it isn’t the full story on how your body functions, manages stress, and handles those nights where the kids just don’t want to sleep.

I’ve found that providing continual support for my body in its natural detoxifying processes and offering some supplements that specifically help balance the bacteria flora in my digestive system has helped massively increase my energy, decrease my foggy mind, and allow me to be more productive each day. Plus its helped me lose those 50 stubborn postpartum pounds, feel better about how I look, and increase my confidence. Better yet… I’ve personally watched hundreds of other moms experience the exact same thing.

When your mind is functioning clearly, you have energy to keep up with your kids, and you have the mental and physical capacity to manage normal household needs, you start feeling more capable and your confidence naturally increases.

4.) Re-Evaluating Your To-Do List

If you’re anything like me… your to-do lists become a bit mountainous… with too many thoughts like, “how am I supposed to get all this done in so little time.”

There are a few little tricks you can use to help that mountain not feel like Mt Everest…

First and foremost… know when to say no.

This can be super difficult for parents, especially moms, because we want to get everything done, do everything that sounds like fun, and accomplish everything that is needed… even when it’s not always realistic.

Next… turn that to-do list of items into actionable steps…

This way its not major projects staring at you with deadlines… but little things you can manage easily in 20-30 minute intervals. Using smaller tasks in shorter amounts of time allows you to be more present with your kids, and not feel so pulled away from parental duties, housework, and work needs. As you cross of items on your to-do list… you’ll feel more accomplished… and be able to physically see how much you’re knocking out each day.

Become more efficient with scheduling and to-do lists…

Instead of sticking to a strict schedule, I use the Teacher Planner from Erin Conderin to schedule my daily tasks. This planner allows you to have different sections for the different areas of your life… I fill mine out with housework, kids events/homeschool topics, blog content planning, consulting calls, social media posts/videos, and use the last column for fun, appointments, and social events. Plus it has plenty of note sections for me to document my thoughts.

Of course, also having an organized work-space helps significantly too.

Automate as much as possible

Let the dishes wash in the dishwasher while the laundry runs… schedule dinner in your InstaPot… and enjoy snuggle time with your littles, while the robot vacuum clean up the toppled over cereal bowl (or dogs, if you have them).

Efficiency is my favorite… especially when my direct attention isn’t required 100% of the time. Yes… I said “robot vacuum” – those things are AMAZING. We especially love our Roomba (we previously had a Samsung that couldn’t keep up with the dog fur)… as long as we can keep the toddler off it.

Automation doesn’t just apply to housework. We all know there is no current way to automate folding, putting away clothing, wiping down the house, and putting dishes away (short of hiring a maid service). There are, however, little things we can do within our home businesses that can be automated too without breaking the bank.

  • Automate email sequences – because you need kiddo time when you’re not hooked on your phone sending hundreds of emails every day. Automate so you only need to manage responses.
  • Schedule social media posts (here are my favorites for Instagram AND Pinterest). Even Facebook now has the ability to schedule posts for their business pages in in groups.
  • Batch write and schedule blog posts
  • Hire a Virtual Assistant (My Favorite is Julie from the Arrow Project)

5.) Focus On Realistic Expectations

Have you ever compared your life with what you were able to accomplish before having kids to after having kids? Or even comparing what you were capable after having one baby to after having two (or more). Truth is… having kids is a beautiful season in life that is designed to help us slow down to enjoy and appreciate the little things.

Sometimes this means one 10 minute task suddenly takes an hour. Sometimes this means only setting up one major task per day.

Quick tip to knowing what you’re capable of navigating each day:

Log what you’re doing each day. Keep track of how long it takes you to finish. That will give you an idea of what you can expect to handle each day while navigating life with your children.

This might look like dishes daily, laundry twice a week, dusting once a week, vacuuming once a week, grooming pets once a week… all split up to different days. Each day may look different than the next, and that’s ok. Understanding that you likely won’t be able to get everything done every day to keep your house looking like you just stepped out of the Stepford Wives movie… and that is ok.

A house is meant to be lived in, and it will be spotless again when the kids grow and are able to help more (or at least not make as much of a mess). But the time with your Littles doesn’t last long, and you won’t want to miss out on their growing up, learning, and becoming incredible people.

6.) Set Your Future Self Up For Success

No doubt about it… its the little things that make a huge difference. Like when your spouse spontaneously does the dishes while you’re wrangling a massively messy diaper change. Or when your partner brings home a little something for you to brighten your day. Doing little things for you to set yourself up for success is just as powerful.

This is arguably the most important part of self-care.

Little things to set yourself up for success

  • Freezer meals to help make life easier on busy days coming up when you know you won’t have much time or energy for cooking (I have tons of ideas you can check out over on Pinterest)
  • Manage laundry on slow days so you will have it all done when you need it the most
  • Remove items from your home that make you feel overwhelmed, embracing more of a minimalistic lifestyle
  • Downsize what you have to reduce clutter and decrease time spent picking up and dusting
  • When you have a surplus of finances in a month, save it for a month that may need extra help. We love having a separate savings account to use for unexpected expenses
  • Slowly stock up on clothes the next size up for your kids, so you’ll be prepared for the next growth spurt and won’t dent your budget as much buying an entire new wardrobe all at once.
  • Use auto-ship subscription programs for your personal care, supplements, and cleaning products (I love this for our cleaners and personal care products and this one for our supplements) to help reduce time and expense at local grocery stores
  • Enforce having a daily quiet time if your kids don’t nap so you can allow yourself time and space to recenter your mind. Quiet time is perfect for time for kids to play with legos, read, play with kinetic sand, play dough, or other fun STEM learning activities.

7.) Relearn How To Love Yourself

Self care is huge for this. While self care isn’t always pedicures and manicures, and you can’t always get away by yourself, it is 100% necessary.

What is self-care? It’s how you talk to yourself… It is what you do to maintain your body and mind… it’s the little things you do to remind yourself how much you care about your life… its taking the time to enjoy all the little things around you… its focusing on gratitude and capability.

Sometimes this means taking a bath with some aromatherapy bath bombs while reading a new book. Sometimes it looks like hiking a new trail with kids in tow. Every day it should look like you treating yourself with kindness, and acting out of love and from a mindset of gratitude.

Why gratitude? Because when we are thankful for everything, including our struggles, you see more events in your life to be thankful for. Why be thankful for your struggles? Because those are what cause us to step outside of complacency and grow who you are, which also grows your capacity to love, and enriches your life in so many different ways. Living from a gratitude mindset also enhances your relationships with your partner, kids, and community.

And it all starts from within.

Daily Affirmation Examples To Remind Yourself That You Love Yourself

  • I am capable, confident, and strong
  • My life has purpose and meaning
  • I am gorgeous
  • I am perfect in this moment
  • I am exactly where I am meant to be in this moment
  • I am the kind of person who deserves to feel confident and capable
  • I am worthy of happiness

These phrases are especially powerful when you look at yourself in the mirror, making eye contact, and repeating.

8.) Edification

This one may seem a bit weird on this list, but it is true. When we edify ourselves and our children, we feel more confident, and those around us feel more confident. This enables us to maintain feeling thankful, and allows us to realize all the little things we accomplish every day, but often overlook.

And in case no one has told you today… you’re doing a fantastic job juggling all that life is throwing at you. You’re a wonderful, loving mom who deserves to feel appreciated and accomplished.

9.) Gain Clarity In Your Mission

You cannot be fully confident about what you’re doing without being clear about what you’re doing. Whether you’re feeling fulfilled and wanting to love your life as a stay at home mom, or you’re looking for something meaningful and yours to do alongside being home with your kids, or you are loving working outside of your home, your life has meaning and purpose.

When you have a clear vision with a mission, knowing who you’re serving and how, you naturally become more confident.

When you’re clear about where your business is headed, you are more likely to stay on track… which increases your productivity and results much faster than if you were just winging it.

Clarity also helps you know when to take risks and how to acknowledge when risks aren’t worth the reward.

10.) Live Your Life With Purpose

Whether you’re working or volunteering, your life has purpose and meaning. Often as moms, we feel that purpose and meaning be completely disrupted or completely change without realizing it… especially when feeling isolated and overwhelmed.

Yes. Your life has purpose and meaning… even if you’re not consciously able to pinpoint how. You are a blessing to your children, and have a message to share with people you may not know yet who need to hear your story, your lessons, and your thoughts.

When you realize this, your confidence grows. When you act on it, creating your own following, your confidence grows even more. When you personally help people through their own struggles and help them not feel so alone, your confidence skyrockets.

This can be accomplished whether or not you use it to create additional income. And whether or not you choose to embark on it with your kids in school or between homeschool lessons.

Creating A Lifestyle That Promotes Confidence

This really takes some conscious effort to alter your current routine and habits to accommodate the little things that help you regain the confidence you rightfully deserve. 10 little helpful tips that make a huge impact:

  1. Eating “high-vibe” foods that fuel your body
  2. Using essential oils to inspire confidence
  3. Increase your energy so you can accomplish more
  4. Re-evaluating your to-do list
  5. Focus on realistic expectations
  6. Set your future self up for success
  7. Relearn how to love yourself
  8. Edification
  9. Gain clarity in your mission
  10. Live with purpose

Thank you for reading!

If you enjoyed this post, found it inspiring, or found it hopeful, please be sure to like, comment, and share.

Nicole

P.S. Don’t forget to scroll down and sign up for my free online community where a few times each month you’ll receive an email from me sharing information about working from home, keeping sane during challenging times, encouragement, and what we are up to with homeschooling.

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Looking for your purpose? Send me a message! I love helping parents find thier calling in life, create a meaningful flexible career, and design the life you want centered around what is most important: family.

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